why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
