The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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