do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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