I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
