he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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