This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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