I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This house was built for laser tag.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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