i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
