Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And then my night got REAL pukey
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
