Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
