cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
