Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
