She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
