we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
