Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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