I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
