My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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