her vagine was all disorganized.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
