Nicole vs. Life
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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