omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
