my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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