Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
