my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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