The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
