we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
