I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
