glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
