I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
God I need to hump something, right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
