Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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