There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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