thus making me awesome and them whores
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
