dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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