awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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