i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
