i just google imaged poop.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
