Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
