Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
