fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize