i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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