Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
