i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
