Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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