those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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