My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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