I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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