oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
