apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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