so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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