i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
