Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
