Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
