If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize