Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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