is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
