At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
love makes seman taste better
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
