haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wannas sexs uuuuu
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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