yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
