we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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