Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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