During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Green mimosas i think yes
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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