No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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